“I don't need this meat.” These Russian soldiers fled Izyum in Ukraine, refused to fight, but were sent back to the frontlines during mobilization

The enlistment of a conscript from Volgograd

Sergey Chizhikv is 19. He was conscripted in the southern Russian city of Volgograd in November, 2021. Sergey remembers he spent the first five months in a training center in Pskov, preparing to become an senior explosives expert. Then he was sent to a military unit based in Barnaul, became a private first class and was offered to sign a contract. The young man says, he wanted to make some money, so he accepted the offer. It was in July 2022, the fifth month of the Russian invasion in Ukraine.

According to Sergey, before the enlistment he was promised three months of probation, and during that time he can terminate the contract and return to his unit. Along with other new contractees, he was promised he won't be sent to the front lines. The command said they will defend «liberated territories.» But it wasn't long until they saw military action.

“I agreed to sign a contract if I was sent to DPR and LPR. There wasn't supposed to be any combat engagement, because I didn't have the training nor the experience,” Sergey says. “I was supposed to defend liberated territories, go out on patrols, stay at checkpoints. Our brigade was sent for training in Urazovo, Belgorod region. They said as a senior explosives expert I should have ten intensive drills. In the end, I went to the shooting range three times, shot some targets and was appointed squad leader. In the very first day instead of the rear we were sent straight into action. Then shelling began, and we were pulled out.”

Deployment to Ukraine and escape from Izyum

In August, Sergey Chizhikov along with other soldiers was deployed in Izyum, a city in the Kharkiv region of Ukraine occupied by Russian forces. According to Chizhikov, he was assigned to the 27th infantry brigade, which didn't take part in combat and was in the reserves for about a week.

But in early September, the swift Ukrainian counteroffensive in the Kharkiv region quickly reached Izyum. When Ukrainian troops entered the city, Russian military had to follow the commanding officers and retreat. Sergey recalls, this was September 10-11.

“The alarm went off in the morning, because there was shelling nearby,” says the soldier. “We packed real quick, hoses started exploding 15-20 meters from us, and our commanding officers already left. We fled Izyum on an IFV, had to leave most of our stuff there, some people even left their papers in the city — everything burned away.”

Around 20 soldiers from Sergey's brigade joined other units and convoys which headed to Russia, but their transport broke down and they fell behind. According to Sergey, the soldiers couldn't find or even get in touch with thier unit for several days. They had to live in the woods on Ukrainian territory until they found another brigade. When they were finally able to contact their senior officer, he said that he doesn't need soldiers like them.

“We were glad to find our comrades and know they were alive,” Sergey says. “We told our officer, ‘This is the lost brigade, we are here, we are ready to join you.’ And all he said was, ‘I don't need this meat.’ I don't know why he acted this way.”

Through the woods to the Russian border

The soldiers lived in the woods forseveral days after that, together with members of another brigade. They barely had any extra clothes, food or water with them, so, according to Sergey, there were days when they didn't eat anything. The other brigade's command didn't provide them with tents and they had t sleep out in the open under the rain. Despite that, they were sent on combat missions.

“The 26th brigade commander told me to go to a demolished Ukrainian bridge with my platoon and guard the shore, so no one could cross the river,” Sergey recalls. “There were enemy forces, fully equipped, a kilomiter away. They could totally see us, and we didn't have anything apart from a knife and a gun: no tanks, no night vision, no infrared vision, no nothing. We didn't even have a sniper. They just sent us to die. So we refused to carry out this order, because it was an impossible task and it didn't even come from our commanding officer.”

Without any command left, Sergey and his fellow soldiers decided to find the way out of Ukraine on their own, through the border in the Belgorod region. After two days of walking, on the checkpoint, they told Russian border guards that they want to terminate their contracts with the army. Chizhikov says, that the guards didn't let them through the Logachevka checkpoint and they had to spend another week on the Ukrainian side of the border (the territory is in the small part of the Kharkiv region that's still under control of Russian forces).

Guns were taken from the soldiers and in exchange they recieved several tents. The uniform and shoes they had on them were from the time they fled Izyum. The military also provided them with food, from field kitchens on the Russian side of the border.

“Even on the front line the conditions are better,” says Sergey, standing near the Russian border he's not allowed to cross. “We're practically living out in the open. Our tents are empty, we sleep on bare ground. We don't live or rest here, we're basically surviving. At we are fed, I can give them that. For now, it's quiet here, although it does get loud when shelling starts. It's a shame they took our guns. If AFU will attack the border we won't even be able to defend it.”

On September 20, Sergey said he's hoping to get to Russia before his probation period ends and terminate the military contract. After that, he wants to finish his two months of conscription service and return home.

“I can terminate the contract and I really want to do it, but they won't let me cross the border and get to my unit,” Sergey said. “There are ten more conscripts in a similar situation. When everyone will be sent to war, I'll go protect my Motherland, of course. But I don't want to participate in the military operation any more. Especially in conditions like this — and with a command like this.”

“Just let me into my country”

The 19-year-old private first class says that, according to commanding officers, the soldiers weren't allowed to cross the border because of an order from someone in the Eastern military district. And they will stay where they are until they agree to continue the fight in Ukraine.

“They don't have an order to let us through,” says Sergey. “Military police, allegedly, doesn't want to let me in because I'll become a deserter. OK, I'll be a deserter, just let me into my country. I'm a citizen of the Russian Federation and want to go home. Let the military police detain me, let the FSB take me, I can deal with this. Just don't keep me here.”

Sergey Chizhikov says the soldeirs are under huge moral pressure and 12 of them already agreed to go back into military action in Ukraine. “The officers are coming every day, and they're like, ‘Come on, go back, we'll calm you down and then you can fight again.’ They take those of us who simply can't take it any more. Young guys just like me. You look at them and think to yourself, ‘War for these guys? Are you kidding?’ I can put a bullet in my head, and that's that. At least that way I'll know who killed me. I don't want to cross that line again, just like the others. It's nothing close to the picture you see on TV out there.”

The private first class says his situation is very common: even people who volunteered and wanted to terminate their short-term contracts weren't allowed to return to Russia. According to Sergey, the volunteers he met spent more than two weeks at the border.

He attempted to cross the border several times and talk to the officers. The guards let him through, but then he was stopped by military police and the FSB. In a couple of days desperate soldiers attempted to cross together.

“One of the officers pulled me aside and said: ‘Guys, you won't pass here. We'll all be screwed if you do. It is your right, but you won't make it without lawyers and civilians. You need help,’” Sergey recalls.

“They'll just die of cold and hunger”

Apart from problems with the officers and inability to come back to Russia, Sergey Chizhikov also didn't recieve the money he was promised when he signed the contract. “They were supposed to pay me a hundred thousand for starters,” Sergey lists. “Then there was three thousand for each day in the rear and eight thousand for a day at the front lines. But all I got for this whole time was eight thousand. I don't know what it was and what can I do with this kind of money.”

Sergey says he got a blast injury in Ukraine, but it wasn't a good enough reason to send him back to Russia: “I do have head injury. And when I was standing near the artillery, I got a bit of a shell shock. Sometimes, I feel dizzy and the heart's beating like crazy. I mentioned this at the checkpoint, bu they just gave me some analgin and said: ‘Sit, rest, it's gonna be fine.’”

Relatives don't know what's happening to the soldiers: Sergey doesn't want his parents to be concerned so he never told them what's happening. Chizhikov says the soldeirs did trey to contact Russian human rights groups, but were told they cannot be helped while they are on Ukrainian territory. Sergey's biggest concern at the time was he and the others will be kept at the border until their consription period ends and they won't be able to treminate their contracts. He said in this case he was ready to continue his service, but only if they'll let go the others and allow him to see his family.

“I haven't been home for almost a year, at least let me go there, show my parents I'm alive and well. And let the guys go,” he asks. “For all it's worth, I was trained a little, but there are guys at war here who don't understand anything and can't do anything. They've just been brainwashes with pretty tales and sent to fight. You can't send them back there, they won't be able to do anything. They'll just die of cold and hunger.”

“My life will be ruined”

When Valdimir Putin signed his “partial mobilization” decree, Sergey Chizhikov and other soldiers were still near the border checkpoint. Two days later, on September 23, they were told that now they can't terminate their contracts and return home. The mobilization decree does prohibit to resign from the military and indicates all contracts “remain effective until the partial mobilization period is over.”

The 19-year-old private first class says that some colonel informed them that all soldiers are to be deployed back into action. Those who refuse can be prosecuted for desertion. After the mobilization announcement Putin also signed amendments to article 338 of the Penal Code: 15 years of prison time for desertion during mobilization.

After that, the soldiers were finally let into Russia, and they ended up at the same base in Urazovo where the war started for them in the summer. There they were asked to write letters of explanation about the equipment they left behind during the retreat from Izyum. The army couldn't provide them with new clothes and equipment, so the soldiers had to ask local volunteers for help.

Sergey didn't know where their brigade will be deployed. After a couple of days at the unit base, on September 25, they left for Ukraine.

“I can't refuse this time,” he said before deployment. “People greet us like heroes, and if I go to prison for five years, my life will be ruined. They draft everyone who has experience now, and I do, so they're not gonna let me go. I know for sure I will survive and come back home. Then I'll leave the army. I realized I don't want to dedicate my life to the military and war.”

This article was produced in partnership with The New Tab.

Editor: Yegor Skovoroda